Courage To Be Women Warriors

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Do you have the courage to be women warriors? Courage comes easily to some and harder to others. Your level of courage can also fluctuate depending on the time of your life. Are you pushing to finish university and be the first woman in your family to do so? Do you have young children that require your constant attention and energy? Have you found yourself, later in life, needing a new creative outlet but face doubt and scepticism from your family or community?

Each of these examples and more compose the fluid and complicated question of what it means to be a woman warrior. I believe we all have the capacity for courage. In my experience, courage comes from deep inner work and honesty. Courage comes from making mistakes and analyzing them until a new answer arises. Even more, courage arrives when we feel like we have nothing left to give yet you continue. It’s also deeply courageous to know when to stop, when to walk away from something that no longer serves you.

I love these quotes by women on women’s courage.

I wrote my play because I needed to see and feel what courage looks like in a woman. I needed to see what lies beneath the rage, the frustration, the fear, the hopelessness, the pain. Beneath every #MeToo confession was an ocean of courage. Voices came together to cry out “enough!” but words on pages or on computer screens don’t always carry the real power you sometimes need to see. I needed to see an embodiment of that collective courage. I needed to ride that wave of rage and shout “enough!” with my own, tired, tattered voice. I needed to see courage.

Shield Maiden play explores why you need courage to be women warriors.

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Shield Maiden Cultivate Festival Gabriola, BC

This fiery and provocative one woman show does not spell out the answers to you in a convenient point form. Your assumptions are challenged. You are asked to think about yourself and your own life. Where do you demonstrate courage? When were you without courage and where is courage required now? Who was there for YOU when you needed help finding your own source of courage? How can you be solid and offer that back now? How fearless can you be?

I’m writing from a raw place today. This is a vulnerable and worn out place. A midwinter place. My courage is still there just not big and showy. It’s quiet and dark and deep. I fight to get closer to the truth of who I am as a mother, partner, friend, artist, woman, human. I have people who support me with their own courage.. They are invaluable and fearless. They are warriors. No stranger to their own fears, struggles, questions. They stand quietly beside me, witnesses, as I emerge bloodied but victorious on the other side. They are truth and compassion and joy embodied for me to remember.

I know where we find the courage to be women warriors. We find it in each other.

Warriors Aren’t Nice

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Warriors aren’t nice. In my solo show, Shield Maiden, our main character Ingrid states emphatically “Nice was never in my job description.” Ingrid is an elite warrior, a leader. However, she feels a behavioural expectation encroaching into her professional domain that doesn’t square up with the definition of who she is and what she’s expected to accomplish at her job.

So let’s talk about Megan Rapinoe, @mPinoe is an American professional soccer midfielder/winger who plays for and captains Reign FC in the National Women’s Soccer League. She is also a member of the United States women’s national soccer team which won the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup. The team also won gold at the 2012 London Olympics. She co-captains her national team with Carli Lloyd and Alex Morgan.

Rapinoe is an elite athlete trained to strategize and win. But not just win. She and her teammates have been trained to dominate. That’s what elite sports is about. Winning. All that money, time, energy, effort does not go into an individual and ultimately a team without expectation of winning. It’s not just a feel-good exercise at this level.

The terms the sporting world uses to describe sporting events are the same terms used to describe war. “Slayed”, “Murdered”, “Destroyed” “Devestated”. This is not accidental.

These athletes are warriors.

The analogy of battle on the playing field is a literal analogy. High level athletes are warriors. And warriors aren’t nice. Warriors are ruthless, focused, triumphant in their victories. Rapinoe is ruthless in her job. That is what makes her and her team successful.

When the #USWMNT obliterated (another war word) Team Thailand 13-0, they were called out for reveling in their victory. These women sent a scorchingly clear message that this US Women’s team showed up at the World Cup to dominate. Team USA stomped their opponent leaving absolutely no doubt what they planned to do to the next teams they played. Their strategy was brilliant and clear. This was NOT nice. And they took a lot of heat for it. The Washington Post even wrote and article with the headline ” US Women’s Team Soccer Team Stirs Up Debate About Celebrating Too Much”

The Washington Post article states that good sportsmanship should be the goal for all athletes male or female and that the US Women’s Team modelled bad behaviour for young athletes. This was my initial response when I first heard about the game and in fact, my husband and I even used it as a teaching moment for our daughter. I think we said something to the effect of “You can succeed, but do it with grace and humility.” I do believe this. Furthermore, I want my daughter growing up with this awareness.

But when I dig a lot deeper, I’m completely turned on by watching these women win without apology, without taking our feelings into consideration. I don’t actually want Rapinoe to be nice.

Women warriors get to be brutal and ruthless. It’s their job.

Who Megan Ranpinoe is on the field is what she’s getting paid for. She is hired to lead her team to victory. As long as she doesn’t break any rules (which she doesn’t) she gets to be ruthless and unapologetic. She gets to rub her opponents into the field and take a beautiful and perfect victory lap. I don’t know what kind of a person Rapinoe is in her personal life but in the public eye she’s an advocate for women and the LGBT community. She fights for pay equity for women athletes. Rapinoe uses her voice as a public figure to stand up to politics and policies that directly contradict what she’s fighting for. On the field, she’s ruthless.

When men are ruthless and brutal at their jobs they are classified as successful. Full stop. They are given a wide berth on their behaviour because they get the job done. They give their investors high returns. Their company sells the most widgets.

In this World Cup, I see many male sports commentators praise some of the women soccer players for “playing nice” after rough play (intended or otherwise). Specifically, women get praised for apologizing. I agree with the WaPo article in that just because men have behaved ruthlessly for centuries doesn’t mean it’s right. I’m not even getting into the historical proof of this ruthlessness.

I am teaching my daughter grace and humility. It’s a harder lesson for me personally to teach her that she doesn’t have to apologize for who she is. That lesson was burned into me and most women I know. I am so grateful we get to see women warriors out there in their full power without apology.

Thank you Megan Rapinoe and all the women before you using your breath and bodies to move us a little closer to the truth.

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